Inner Child…

I had a conversation with someone the other day and it really connected my “why.” I will keep this short and hopefully, if you are searching for something, you will find hope in the fact that it is right in front of you…

Art offers me things that my inner child longs for…

I find myself painting a picture and immediately, I send photos of the picture to one of my parents (I have three) or my grandparents (I have four). I find myself painting things that I know they will appreciate, hand-delivering them like my own children hand-deliver their beautiful gifts to me. I feel so much happiness when they tell me that they are proud of me or that they think my art is something special. I will always make sure that I dote on my children for their beautiful gifts because at 40 years old, I can only imagine what a boost it is for my babies.

I believe that my inner child grows a little more when I know they are proud of me. Little Lauren shows up a little more and doesn’t crumble the paper or think about the ugly parts of the paintings. Art allows me to express myself in ways that my younger mind needed to, but couldn’t. I see the beauty that art has brought into my life, through years of trauma and self-induced pain. Art allows people to express themselves in ways that words would never allow. It allows the hurts and the happiness to show up in ways that no one could ever replicate in the way that you first created it.

I see it more and more as I have opened the doors to my art studio. Women in their 30’s, 40’s, 50’s, and beyond, walk through the doors, in search of something that they can do for themselves. We are all searching for something in life that can give us what we need. In the chaotic business of the everyday, the responsibilities of motherhood, the sickness, the family obligations, and keeping everyone fed, educated, clothed, clean, and running… it is incredible to have this gift that no one can take away from me. This talent that I have found again, the one that the little girl in me found so many years ago but hung up time and time again, thinking it wasn’t good enough. This God-given gift that years ago, let me escape from things that I couldn’t control. What a comfort it is, to that little girl inside of me to not only pick it up again…but to be able to introduce it to others… that inner child grows more, yes. But, she also heals.

Find that in yourself and hold it tight. Make time for it. And if God allows the door to open, go through it.